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Episode Guide (Series 5)

Series:   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8

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1: Greed (2 Oct 95)

Bill disapproves when she learns that Ben has bought a lottery ticket. The family argue about whether or not gambling is a good idea. Bill wants to throw the ticket away but is outvoted by the rest of the family. Everyone argues about how they'll divide up the money if they win. Then Bill discovers what looks like the remains of the lottery ticket in a pair of jeans which she's just washed.

She gets Rona to drive her around looking for somewhere to buy another ticket. Stopping at a petrol station which is also a lottery outlet, Bill spots Clive's parents filling their car with petrol. Not wanting them to see her buying a ticket, she and Rona put on Donald Duck masks. The shop assistant thinks he's being robbed, so he sets off a secret alarm. Bill gets her ticket and leaves.

The police arrive and arrest Clive's parents. Back at home, Christine turns up with Ben's lottery ticket, which he put into her wage packet by mistake. Ben's ticket doesn't win, but Bill's ticket does.

Also Appearing:
Dominic Brunt (Petrol Station Attendant), John Hug (Harry), Arbel Jones (Laura), Nathan Valente (Clive)

2: We'd Like To Know A Little Bit About You For Our Files (9 Oct 95)

David is acting suspiciously and his bed hasn't been slept in. When she finds a piece of paper with an unreadable scrawl on it, Bill decides it must be a clue to whatever David is up to.

With the help of Rona and Jenny, Bill comes to the conclusion that David is having an affair with an older woman. Bill and Ben go round to see the supposed "mistress". They discover that David is receiving tuition for the County Drama Awards. He says that he didn't want anyone to know about it in case he was no good.

Going downstairs in the lift, Bill and Ben get stuck in a wardrobe which is loaded into a van and driven away by a team of removal men.

Also Appearing:
Ron Aldridge (Removal Man), Miranda Holman (Receptionist), Annie Lambert (Maggie Faith)

3: The Deep (16 Oct 95)

Bill has just finished giving the bedroom a good clean when Ben knocks a large hole in the wall. He says he's planning to install an ensuite shower.

Tina pays an unexpected visit and tries to persuade Bill to attend a "capperware" party. Bill gets rid of her with an unusual cup of coffee.

Bill discovers that Ben has agreed that they'll look after the Grimes' house while they're away. He assures Bill that there are no pets to worry about this time. Then Mrs Grimes rings up from Switzerland and asks Bill if she's remembered to "feed them". The Porter family go next door looking for pets. Bill finds a lot of dead fish in the fishpond in the back garden. She rings around trying to find a pet shop that can supply replacement fish.

The nearest shop that can supply the type of fish needed is in Reading. It's nearly closing time and Mr and Mrs Grimes are due back that evening. Ben rings Tina and gets her to go and buy the fish, then he and Bill drive to Reading to collect them. They get them back just before Mr and Mrs Grimes get back home.

Mrs Grimes is surprised - she says that she thought that the fish were dead before she left. Then Mr Grimes asks how his new racing pigeons are getting on.

Also Appearing:
Stanley Lloyd (Leonard Grimes)

4: Mayday (23 Oct 95)

Bill and Rona are still looking for premises for their catering business. They are looking at a Portakabin when it gets driven off and they end up in Nuneaton. Back home, Bill makes plans for Bank Holiday Monday with the family.

When the Bank Holiday arrives, Ben and David set about installing the new ensuite shower, while Jenny is expecting a visit from Clive and his German grandmother. Then Bill's mother arrives unexpectedly and starts watching a war film on television. She starts saying how much she hates the Germans.

Rona's Aunt Pearl also arrives and joins in the anti-German conversation. When Clive, his mother and grandmother arrive, Bill takes them in through the back alleyway while Rona smuggles Bette and Pearl over to her house. Meanwhile, Ben and David have discovered what they think is a sealed-up water tank in the spare . bedroom. It turns out to be an unexploded bomb.

Also Appearing:
Arbel Jones (Laura), Nancy Nevinson (Sophie), Nathan Valente (Clive)

5: Seven Dials (30 Oct 95)

Ben sends Jake Klinger out on a wild goose chase in the middle of the night. Jake swears he'll get his revenge.

David is worried about the drama competition and can't sleep. He makes his parents promise that they'll be there.

Ben meets up with Jake, who tells him that he's given up his obsession with 'Star Trek' - he's now a fan of 'The Prisoner'. Ben gets knocked out when a vase falls on his head. He wakes up to find himself in the Village from 'The Prisoner'.

Meanwhile, Bill and Rona are out looking for premises. They find themselves in a warehouse full of Shirley Bassey's dresses. They start trying them on and lose track of time. After wandering around the Village all afternoon, Ben finds Jake Klinger's van. He outwits Jake, takes his van and drives back to London.

Bill and Ben both miss David's performance at the drama contest. He tells them that he managed to win first prize. Bill gets a phone call from Shirley Bassey.

Also Appearing:
Nikki Belsher (Waitress), Annie Lambert (Maggie Faith), Roger Lloyd-Pack (Jake Klinger), Sean Sloan (Sean), Colin Wyatt (Security Guard)

6: The Truth Is Out There (6 Nov 95)

Rona has forgotten to tell them the council her mother had died eleven years earlier. Consequently, the tenancy of the house she's living in is still in her mother's name. Then a letter from the council arrives for Rona's mother and Tony marks it "Deceased" and sends it back.

Rona later gets a letter from the council telling her that they've decided to sell the house now that the legal tenant has died.

Also appearing:
Rona goes to see the Housing Department and they tell her that they'll transfer the tenancy to her provided she brings in her Birth Certificate. Rona doesn't know where it is, so she enlists the help of the Porter family and Aunt Pearl to look for it. They can't find it anywhere.

Rona says that her mother kept it somewhere, but she can't remember where. Ben suggests holding a seance so that they can contact Rona's mother and find out where she put the Birth Certificate. Pearl reveals that she is Rona's real mother. Rona borrows some money from Bill and buys her house from the council.

Also Appearing:
Brian Miller (Postman)

Porky's (24 Dec 95)

It's Christmas, and Ben hasn't ordered a turkey. He reveals that he won a piglet in a competition earlier in the year and so they'll be having pork for Christmas. Then he admits that it was a live piglet and he'd forgotten that little piglets grow into large pigs.

The end-of-programme musical number is "Rootin' Tootin' Santa Claus".