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Episode Guide (Series 2)

Series:   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9

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1: Six Big Boobies (21 Oct 85)

The airmen have been sent off to hide in a nunnery. Edith finds Rene's will and promptly goes off to buy a new hat.

Herr Flick now has three copies of "The Fallen Madonna With the Big Boobies" but he doesn't know which one is the original and which are fakes. He gets Lieutenant Gruber to help him to identify the genuine article.

The airmen, disguised as nuns, return to the cafe and hide in the piano.

2: The Wooing Of Widow Artois (28 Oct 85)

The airmen are disguised as a cow so that they can be smuggled out to meet a plane from England.

Herr Flick has hidden the paintings inside knockwurst sausages. He plans to have the sauasage containing the original painting hung in Rene's kitchen. A sausage containing a forgery will be sent to Hitler.

Helga tells Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering about Herr Flick's plans. They set out to swap sausages so that they can get their hands on the one containing the original painting.

3: The Policeman Cometh (4 Nov 85)

The plane from England arrives to pick up the airmen (still disguised as a cow). However, it doesn't land. Instead, a newcomer parachutes down from the plane. He's Captain Crabtree, from British Intelligence, disguised a gendarme. He speaks attrocious French.

A knockwurst sausage which doesn't contain any paintings at all has been sent to Berlin by train. Rene and Hans take Lieutenant Gruber's armoured car and try to derail the train by shooting at it using the cannon.

4: Swiftly And With Style (11 Nov 85)

Officer Crabtree tells Lieutenant Gruber that his armoured car has been stolen, so Herr Flick is now looking for the vehicle. As Rene and Hans are driving back to the Cafe, they are ambushed by the Communist Resistance. Herr Flick arrives and the Communists make off.

Edith is being courted by Monsieur Alphonse. Rene, afraid that he'll lose the Cafe, begs her to marry him again.

Michelle turns up asking Rene to help her to get hold of some material to mend a balloon which is to be used in the airmen's latest escape attempt. It's decided to collect silk knickers from the women of Nouvion.

Monsieur Alphonse challenges Rene to a duel over Edith.

5: The Duel (18 Nov 85)

Rene is trying to find a way of avoiding having to fight a duel with Monsieur Alphonse.

Hitler has found out that the blown-up sausage didn't contain a painting. Herr Flick has been ordered to arrest the 'culprits'.

The balloon has been finished and is ready for the airmen's latest escape attempt.

6: Herr Flick's Revenge (25 Nov 85)

Rene is disguised as a Resistance Girl while the Resistance try to convince Monsieur Alphonse that Rene is too much of a hero to be killed.

Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering have been imprisoned in a dungeon by Herr Flick, who plans to torture them. Rene is captured and locked up in the dungeon by Von Smallhausen.

When the Gestapo begin torturing their prisoners, Lieutenant Gruber goes to General Von Klinkerhoffen for help.

The silk balloon takes off with the airmen aboard.

Monsieur Alphonse has been convinced that Rene is "the bravest man in all France", so he no longer plans to kill him.

The Gateau From The Chateau (26 Dec 85)

The silk balloon has taken off, but it doesn't get very far. The airmen are taken back into the Cafe and hidden inside a pair of moose heads.

The Nouvion area is now under the command of General Von Klinkerhoffen. He orders Colonel Von Strohm to seduce Edith so that he'll learn more about Resistance activities. The Colonel orders Hans to do the seducing.

The Resistance, Herr Flick, Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering all plan to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen at a party organised to commemorate the Kaiser's birthday. Various plans are hatched, involving a blowpipe, some poisoned wine and a dynamite-filled cake. There's much confusion involving "the dart in the heart", "the drug in the jug", "the candle with the handle" and "the gateau from the chateau".