Episode Guide (Series 4)
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1: Monsoon Madness (2 Nov 76)
The monsoon season is about to begin and the heat is unbearable. The Sergeant Major discovers that the men from the Concert Party haven't been taking their salt tablets. They tell him that they can't swallow the tablets. He says that he can swallow six tablets without being sick. He demonstrates - and is promptly sick.
Lofty starts to show signs of 'monsoon madness'. He becomes obsessed with the idea that the Sergeant Major is responsible for all of his problems. He sets out to kill Williams. As soon as the rain comes, the madness passes.
2: Kidnapped In The Khyber (9 Nov 76)
The men from the Concert Party have to travel to the Northwest Frontier to put on a show. Colonel Reynolds decides to go with them when he discovers that news of his affair with Daphne Waddilove-Evans has reached her husband. The lady in question also accompanies the Concert Party.
En route to their destination, they meet a group of tribesmen who try to sell them pornographic books. They confiscate the books, incurring the wrath of the tribesmen.
That night, they take shelter in an abandoned fort. Mrs Waddilove-Evans is kidnapped by the tribesmen. Later, a sack is thrown over the wall of the fort. Everyone thinks that it's a "piece of Mrs Waddilove-Evans".
3: A Fate Worse Than Death (16 Nov 76)
The sack is opened. It contains a melon, together with a note demanding rifles and the return of the pornographic books which were confiscated from the tribesmen.
Next day, the men from the Concert Party disguise themselves as natives and go out to look for Mrs Waddilove-Evans. They end up going round in a circle and find themselves back at the fort. They find that the tribesmen have been to the fort and emptied out all of the water containers.
Lofty is sent out, carrying fake rifles, to meet the tribesmen. The others follow him, planning to ambush the tribesmen. Captain Ashwood makes a mistake reading the map, so they end up in the wrong place. The only liquid they have to drink is a mixture of water from the truck's radiator, gin and medicine. They all get drunk and pass out. When they wake up, Mrs Waddilove-Evans is returned unharmed.
4: Ticket To Blighty (23 Nov 76)
The concert party plan to pool their resources to get one of them sent back to Britain. Lots are drawn to see who the lucky man will be. Gloria wins.
The plan is for Gloria to get a discharge by pretending to be a woman. The Sergeant Major is arrested for indecent assault when he tries to take Gloria's clothes off in an attempt to prove that he's really a man.
In a further attempt to get a discharge, Gloria pretends to overdose on pills. He's sent to hospital, where he falls in love with a nurse. He's finally offered a discharge but asks for permission to marry instead.
5: Lofty's Little Friend (30 Nov 76)
Captain Ashwood sends Lofty off to collect a plant which has been sent to him by a friend in England. On the way back, Lofty encounters an elephant, which eats the plant.
Lofty returns to camp, followed by the elephant, which causes total chaos. The men from the Concert Party are given the job of trying to get rid of it. Their efforts end in failure.
Area Command issues orders for the elephant to be shot, so the Sergeant Major organises a firing squad. The animal's owner arrives just in time to save it.
6: Flight To Jawani (7 Dec 76)
The men from the Concert Party fly to a remote airfield to put on a show for a group of airmen, who haven't seen a woman for several years.
The airmen see a picture of Gunner Beaumont. They think that 'Gloria'is a real woman and refuse to believe otherwise. The Colonel decides that the show will have to go ahead without Gloria. As the show goes on, the audience becomes more and more restive and start shouting "We want Gloria!" over and over again.
Gloria decides that most of them should dress up as women and do a number, assuming that the airmen will realise that they're men dressed up as women. The airmen rush the stage and everyone has to make a run for it. Luckily, the plane arrives to take them back to Deolali before the airmen can catch up with them.
7: We Are Not Amused (14 Dec 76)
The men from the Concert Party have to put on a special show for the District Officer. Apparently, he's very patriotic, so Captain Ashwood has written a jingoistic pageant about the British in India.
The men from the Concert Party think that the Captain's pageant is absolutely awful, but they have to perform it.
The night of the performance arrives and the District Officer is unable to attend. He sends his deputy - an Indian - in his place. The pageant goes ahead, with the Sergeant Major 'translating' the narrative to make it less offensive to their Indian VIP guest.
8: Twenty-One Today (21 Dec 76)
It'll soon be Gunner Parkins' twenty-first birthday. Sergeant Major Williams wants to give him a Japanese ceremonial sword as a special present. Unfortunately for the Sergeant Major, the men from the Concert Party have also bought Parky a sword.