Episode Guide (Series 1)
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1: Happiness Is A Warm Gun (13 Sep 87)
Alan B'Stard is elected Member of Parliament for Haltemprice after each of his opponents has an "unfortunate accident". To stop the police from investigating his campaign tactics, he promises to promote a bill which will authorise every policeman to carry arms at all times. He plans to make a big profit by getting involved in the arms trade.
2: Passport To Freedom (20 Sep 87)
Alan B'stard is on his way to Germany to attend a conference. He forgets his passport and isn't allowed to board the plane. Meanwhile, his wife Sarah has inherited a fortune and plans to divorce him.
3: Sex Is Wrong (27 Sep 87)
Alan becomes involved with an anti-porn group. He's heard that they have a very interesting collection of 'samples'.
4: Waste Not, Want Not (4 Oct 87)
Alan has to find a way of getting rid of a large consignment of plutonium oxide.
5: Friends Of St. James (11 Oct 87)
The "President For Life" of a carribean island wants Alan to help raise capital for a shady export deal.
6: Three Line Whipping (18 Oct 87)
Alan wants to give a prostitute a good whipping, but she misunderstands him and gives him a beating instead. This causes problems when Alan has to go off for a television interview shortly afterwards,
7: Baa Baa Black Sheep (25 Oct 87)
It looks as if Alan's constituency party may 'deselect' him unless he can do something that will benefit the local economy. He sees a chance of persuading an American company to build a lamb-burger factory in Haltemprice. First he has to convince the owner of the company that he's a god-fearing, happily married man.