Episode Guide : Series 1

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Episode 1 (13 SEP 87)
Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Alan B'Stard is elected Member of Parliament for Haltemprice after each of his opponents has an "unfortunate accident". To stop the police from investigating his campaign tactics, he promises to promote a bill which will authorise every policeman to carry arms at all times. He plans to make a big profit by getting involved in the arms trade.

Episode 2 (20 SEP 87)
Passport To Freedom

Alan B'stard is on his way to Germany to attend a conference. He forgets his passport and isn't allowed to board the plane. Meanwhile, his wife Sarah has inherited a fortune and plans to divorce him.

Episode 3 (27 SEP 87)
Sex Is Wrong

Alan becomes involved with an anti-porn group. He's heard that they have a very interesting collection of 'samples'.

Episode 4 (4 OCT 87)
Waste Not, Want Not

Alan has to find a way of getting rid of a large consignment of plutonium oxide.

Episode 5 (11 OCT 87)
Friends Of St. James

The "President For Life" of a carribean island wants Alan to help raise capital for a shady export deal.

Episode 6 (18 OCT 87)
Three Line Whipping

Alan wants to give a prostitute a good whipping, but she misunderstands him and gives him a beating instead. This causes problems when Alan has to go off for a television interview shortly afterwards,

Episode 7 (25 OCT 87)
Baa Baa Black Sheep

It looks as if Alan's constituency party may 'deselect' him unless he can do something that will benefit the local economy. He sees a chance of persuading an American company to build a lamb-burger factory in Haltemprice. First he has to convince the owner of the company that he's a god-fearing, happily married man.