Episode Guide (Series 7)
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1: The Elephant's Child (6 Jan 97)
Brittas sends Carole off on an assertiveness course in Nuneaton, then wishes he hadn't. The Leisure Centre's sauna is about to be privatised.Helen wants to buy the franchise, but she doesn't have enough money. She decides to steal her fur coat, with Julie's help. Julie gives birth during the robbery. Meanwhile, Brittas is organising a bungee jump to raise funds for the Leisure Centre.
Written by: Ian Davidson, Peter Vincent
2: Reviewing The Situation (13 Jan 97)
Julie has been getting threatening letters, so she's under police guard. Brittas introduces a new procedure which requires everyone on the staff to produce a report on his or her immediate junior. There's some confusion about who is junior to who and also about the acceptable content of a 'report'. Helen is training to be a therapist, but finds that Brittas is severely testing her patience and abilities.
Written by: Mike Walling, Tony Millan
3: http://etc (20 Jan 97)
Brittas is keen to computerise the Leisure Centre. He closes the Centre down for a week so that the necessary work can be carried out. Carole thinks her computer monitor is a portable TV set. The staff enlist the help of a small boy to 'fix' the new system.
Written by:
Paul Smith
4: Wake Up The Lion Within (27 Jan 97)
Brittas comes back from a management course in Miami, keen to encourage the staff to "release their potential". Colin sets up a "Children's Corner", complete with wild animals. Carole tricks Brittas into resigning so that she can take over as Centre Manager. She makes some unpopular decisions and the staff go on strike, demanding Gordon's reinstatement.
Written by: Terry Kyan
5: The Disappearing Act (3 Feb 97)
Councillor Drugget is keen to promote an "Employee Of The Month" competition, with a weekend in Paris as the prize. Brittas isn't too keen on the idea. Colin tries his hand at a bit of magic and makes a small child disappear. Helen organises a "dream workshop".
Written by: Tony Millan and Mike Walling
6: Gavin Featherly RIP (10 Feb 97)
Brittas makes Gavin confess to a record company that he made an illegal copy of an audio tape. Now Gavin is facing the possibility of a ten thousand pound fine. When he disappears during the staff weekend away at the seaside, everyone assumes that he has drowned himself. Meanwhile, he's trapped on board a pirate ship, somewhere on the high seas.
Written by: Terry Kyan
7: Exposed (17 Feb 97)
An investigative television reporter pays a visit to the Leisure Centre. He thinks there's scope for a programme. He tells his colleagues, "Weird place - the woman on reception looked as though she'd just been released into the community, the bloke dishing out towels looked like he had a flesh-eating disease ... I reckon if we get some filming done in there we could do a nice little health and smear job." Brittas, hearing that the Centre is about to get some "exposure" on television, advises the staff on TV presentation techniques. Meanwhile, Colin is organising swimming lessons ... for rats.
Written by: Paul Smith
8: Curse Of The Tiger Women (24 Feb 97)
It's the Leisure Centre's fifth anniversary and Brittas has baked a cake. None of the staff will eat it, however. Meanwhile, people and birds have started dying wherever Brittas goes. The staff become convinced that he's cursed. Colin launches a Noah's Ark in the swimming pool. A build-up of marsh gas results in an emergency evacuation of the Leisure Centre.
Written by: Ian Davidson, Peter Vincent